Friday, December 5, 2008

Space...and Quiet

It's been a long week work-wise...a fast week in relation to the children. I had so many plans, but I did manage to get home super early once and early enough another day to take my youngest daughter for a long walk and then cook dinner with her. I barely spoke to Elie this week. The timing was off each time I wanted to call him, I was afraid I would wake him up...or catch him when he was busy.

He didn't call me (maybe once he did) - unusual, but not something to worry about. Usually, it means he is at peace with himself (hopefully) and things are quiet in his area.

Today is Friday. If I don't hear from him a little before the Shabbat comes in, I'll call him. For some reason, I felt he needed space. Children have spheres - at least when they are young. At the center of their world, are their parents and as they get older, they widen the diameters, often seek the very edges of their world. And yet, to a large extent and something they won't admit even to themselves, their parents remain an anchor, something that ties them to who they are.

They can always come home, always find their way back - and so they have the freedom to go, knowing you stay. They can explore, challenge, soar...because the parent remains on the ground waiting for them. At least, I think, that's the way it should be.

So, I'm playing doormat today...or maybe just enjoying being home and letting my kids come to me. Elie won't be home this Shabbat - but according to his new schedule, he'll be home Sunday and Monday.

How does it feel to be a soldier's mother today? The answer, happily, is normal. I have to cook. I have to clean. I did the shopping. I have guests coming for both meals. I have to fold laundry. I don't want to think about the world and politics - I don't want to think about yesterday and the government we have or don't have. All I want is a clean stove, a table set, a full refrigerator, my children at the table tonight, healthy and clean, and a phone call from Elie saying, "how's it going?" and "Shabbat shalom."

These are the simple things in life - these are the best things in life. This is all there is to life and the biggest blessing, I think, is that God has given me the eyes and the heart to know this.

1 comment:

Gila said...

There is something amazing relaxing about just feeling normal and settled...

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