I guess that about sums up the situation. Elie called this morning to tell me he was already on the bus coming home. He offered to do the weekly shopping, if I leave him a list and a credit card (and a car).
I didn't ask him on the phone why he wasn't available the last few days. Perhaps it was just bad timing on my part. He's fine. He's home. He's safe and I'm feeling very foolish for having let the worries get the better part of me last night. I think that's what happens in the middle of the night - fears seem so much worse and with the rising of the sun, comes the setting of many of those concerns.
So, except for a case of burning eyes and a mad desire to just go home and sleep...all is once again well in our lives. I can think of a dozen other reasons why I couldn't sleep last night (the economy, world-wide health scares, we are supposed to sign a contract to buy a house today, stupid arguments with other people, I can't find a blue shirt, I need to finish a document today for a client, I have to write up three bills and send them, and yeah, I couldn't reach Elie for a few days).
I think, to a larger extent - this was also a message from the Heavens. Just when you think you've got this soldier's mother thing down and are feeling vastly more experienced than all those others who have sons that just went in, last night was a wake up call (literally) that there are no certainties in life. You take each day, and each night, as a blessing and you deal.
So, I dealt - not as well as I should have - but the night passed, I'll sleep later. By now, Elie is probably home and sleeping himself. And no, I won't tell him about the sleep I lost last night until I can laugh about it....which will likely be after I get some sleep for myself.