Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Nation of Soldiers?

I was at the market today buying all sorts of odds and ends. My husband's parents passed away 15 years ago, both after long illnesses, both from the same disease, one within 12 days of the other. It's a sad time for us and yet we commemorate the days each left us with a night of learning in their honor. Friends come over and after the studying, my husband rises and says the mourner's prayer in their memory.

Elie has arranged to come out a day early to join us; our other children will be there as well. My job is to fill the table with cakes and desserts that honor our home and my parents-on-law's memory. This week, we remember my mother-in-law, an amazing woman that I've written about in the past and will likely write about in the future.

For now, though, I want to write about what happened a few moments ago, that happens so often and yet I forget to write it.

I went into the market and filled my cart with different types of nuts and nosh. I went to the drink section and added the sodas I am trying not to buy for my home, just on these days, for our guests. I bought the ice tea that Elie likes and then when I was buying the potato chips, I added all the stuff he likes too.

I went to the cashier, loaded it all on the table and packed it in bags as each item was passed through the scanner. And then I looked near the end, where the next woman had already loaded her stuff and saw the same things I had just purchased.

"Are those mine?" I asked her, thinking maybe I had gotten distracted and not finished.

"No," she said with a smile, "I have a soldier too."

I don't know how she knew and yet she smiled. And thus began a three way discussion of who had what in the army.

"I have one almost finished," she said.

"I have one finishing soon, but the same month, another begins," I said.

"We finished off three already. This one's a girl," she answered.

"Ah, we had two in at the same time. A boy and a girl. A girl is easier," the cashier added.

"I don't know how you survived three or even two at the same time," I told them, "I've barely survived one. I thought Gaza would kill me."

"That's the way it is here," she said.

I took my bags, said my goodbyes and came to my car where I sit typing this. "That's the way it is here," she said. Yes, I guess she is correct. I've heard our enemies say that Israel is a nation of soldiers. It isn't really true, I've always thought. And yet, if, perhaps there is some truth in what they say, they are missing one key fact. As much as we are a nation of soldiers, we are a nation of soldier's mothers.

Something as simple as buying potato chips, Doritos and ice tea becomes a moment of bonding. She has sent four children to the army...I begin my second one soon. That's the way it is here.

4 comments:

RangersGirl said...

I love witnessing stuff like this at the Marine Corps Museum here in the US, veterans who served in the same war, different units but a mile away from each other...wives that can share the same exact stories of deployments, one a current spouse, the other during the Korean war. Blue star parents (parents of deployed soldiers) whose kids are in other services...but because the Marine Corps museum is close...they feel walking through the galleries brings them closer to their kids for an afternoon.

Have a wonderful evening of rememberance for you Mother-in-law.

April Bauer said...

My little ones are little yet, but I found your post really sad and surreal at the same time. I know one day I too will have to send a son off and really don't want to. I can watch him play now and know that our Father has made him to one day be a soldier. I just pray he'll be one worthy of his Maker.
I do have a question for you though. In Israel, do the women have to serve the required time just as the men do? Thanks so much for sharing.
April

George said...

We had three in together when my elder daughter was in the army, including during the Lebanon war in 2006. When my younger daughter started the army this summer, we went back to three in at the same time, but we are now back to two as my younger son finished a month ago (after 6 years). As my elder son has now been in the army for 8 years already, I have no idea when we will finally be a family with no soldiers.
By the way, the first time we had two soldiers in together was when I did my last stint of reserve duty, eight months after my elder son went into the army!

George said...

Re-reading this (because aSoldiersMother linked to it today on Facebook), I find that I still have no idea when we will be a family with no soldiers as my elder son is still in the army. This November he will have been a soldier for 15 years.

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