Rumors are flying around Israel today, as they have since the start of this horrible ordeal. Once again, I go scrambling through websites to find whether something has happened. Terrified the news won't be good; desperately hoping they have been found well and safe and will soon be home.
In the morning it was a ridiculous article full of assumptions about how the kidnapping happened. Some may be true; some may be guessing. Little of it is authorized. Why must people talk about this when we know not much more than we did at the start? Oh someone knows, I hope - and that someone or those someones are our soldiers. They are looking, searching. Yes, waiting is hard but creating rumors don't help.
She heard it from someone, who heard it from someone...maybe from a policeman...does that make it credible? It doesn't matter what the rumor is - nothing matters until we know, until it is official. We are just torturing ourselves for nothing. Just rumors.
I check the international news sites regularly because they will ignore an Israeli-ordered gag order. Long before anything is announced to Israel, there will be something written somewhere. I am desperate to know now. No matter what news there is (or isn't), first the families will be told. That's the right way to do it - the only way to do it. Slowly, it will leak out, as it did from the beginning.
It never ceases to amaze me how the heart can jump when the brain knows otherwise. Nothing is true until it is announced. All just rumors. Good news. Bad news. No news. Some news. We are prisoners waiting to be free; we are mothers waiting for word. They aren't our sons, and yet they are. Always ours too.
Davidi left for school last night. After 2 hours, I sent him a note - are you in school?
I am so worried about the boys. I am so desperate to see the pictures of their mothers hugging them.
The spurt of adrenalin that came with the rumor has backed off and I'm left with a sick feeling in my stomach. I just want them home...
Day 13 is so much worse than Day 12...Tomorrow will be even worse. Tomorrow it will be 2 weeks that they are gone.
The mothers and fathers of these boys must always know that they did everything they could to bring their boys home. No mother could do more. Stories are coming out about the moments before, during and after the kidnapping. I leave comments and ask people to remove what they have written. Why let the Palestinians know how much we know? Why hint that we know who or what or when?
All that is important is that we do what we can and while the soldiers search and the politicians talk, we are tasked with praying for the boys. It is all we can do.
Three beautiful boys - I see their smiles, I see videos of them singing and playing. Please God, we need them to come home safe. Please, please, bring our boys back soon.