Monday, June 30, 2014

The Deepest of Pain

Prime Minister David Cameron is deeply saddened. The White House condemns in the strongest terms...already we know that even if Obama had bothered to interrupt his vacation, it likely would not have made a difference. The boys were murdered shortly after the kidnappings. I can only pray that the families find comfort in this. They were found bound together, I can only pray they were never separated and at least had each other.

Deeply saddened - doesn't come close to what I am feeling. I went with a group of women from my community to the prayer tent outside the Frenkel home in Nof Ayalon. By the time we got there - there were already rumors. A neighbor took in a large group of women and gave us space to say Psalms. One of my neighbors, a learned woman who readily shares her knowledge and love of God's laws and holy writings, showed incredible strength by giving the shiur (lesson) she had intended to give in the tent. She spoke beautifully and clearly for about 40 the news spread through the group, as women quietly checked their phones for news and one by one began to cry. The bodies had been found. 

I can't think of a more difficult setting for giving a class...and still the woman spoke...beautifully. Her voice cracked a few times and I felt bad for encouraging her to give the class; I thought for sure she understood by the tears that all hope was gone. But she had no way of knowing and so she ended the class with the optimism she had come to give, may the boys return...and then, as more women cried and we told her they had found the bodies, it was all over.

I am a bundle of tears and anger. One moment, the tears win out. The next, the anger burns so brightly. I want...I want to hurt them so badly - for the psychological torture they once again inflicted on Israel and on these three precious families. For the pain they have caused these precious families. For changing three families forever. For breaking the hearts of three mothers, if not their souls. I want to flatten their homes, their cities, their world. I want to curse their god, in whose name they say they acted. Endless are the things my brain can think of in these agonizing hours.

I'm allowed to feel this now - partially because I know my country will never do this, my army will never do this. We will cry, we will mourn. We, unlike them, don't kill innocents; we don't wage war on children. We are not cowards. We don't hide behind our women and children. We don't - they do.

We will...God will we bury them tomorrow? We will because that is what we do. We are the Jewish people, yes, chosen by God because we accepted His Torah, His laws. We accepted that we do not murder. We do not steal. We do not harm the innocent. We live according to our honor and for all that the world judges us by double standards, we live up to our need to be a holy people. We are holy. We are united. We will not allow...that's right...we will not allow them to attack our children, our babies, and walk away unharmed. We are not the Jews of the 18th century, the 14th century.

We have reclaimed OUR land; that's right - OUR land. Ours - by right, by might, by history, by every law known to God and man and yes, even by the twisted meanderings of a culture that is sick enough to be celebrating and yelling "allah akbar".

I try to push the anger away, but then the crippling sadness returns. I'm better with the anger; at least then my eyes are not pouring out tears. But along with the anger and the tears, I have to say one thing. To those who think otherwise, right now, I need to explain - no prayer is wasted. All of Israel prayed these 18 days - it was not wasted.

There are tragedies in life I cannot understand. I don't understand this one. It does not change the essence of my faith in God. There is a plan...we don't know it; we don't have to. But I promise you, there is a plan and hard as it is to accept this was part of it. God did not murder these boys; but God (and Israel) will punish those who did. To the end of eternity, they will suffer for what they Eyal, Gilad and their the nation and people of Israel.

Tonight and tomorrow, this week and this month and this year and beyond, we will mourn for Eyal, for Gilad, for Naftali. Perhaps already tomorrow, they will be buried. Their families will continue to be surrounded by love and community and they will never be able to think they didn't do all they could to bring them back. 

They will never be alone with their pain and from the love of a nation, they will draw what comfort they can. The mothers each have other children who need them - they will rise up to this because of all that we learned of them for 18 days, we saw strength. Their families need them now...they will help their families, and we will help them.

And we will curse the culture that birthed these killers. That too is our right. This is a culture that celebrates the death of a child, three children. Naftali will never play ping pong again. Eyal will not sing at his friend's wedding. Gilad - what will his sisters do without Gilad?

I thought of so many messages as I drove back from Nof Ayalon tonight. 

The first was to the killers - congratulations, I wanted to tell them. You successfully murdered three children. What brave men you are, what heroes you are. Your mothers are proud of you...and perhaps for that I pity you most. With mothers like that, no wonder you grew into the twisted animals you are. 

They think you are heroes; they think you are brave. It doesn't really take much bravery to murder three children, but never'll have to be very brave now because the most successful and brave men, the real heroes in this world, our sons, will be hunting you now. You won't last long. It may take a week, a few weeks, it might even take months. You'll live these last days, weeks, or months hiding like the sniveling cowards you are. 

There will be true justice. Perhaps it will take 18 days before you are caught, one day for each of the days you made these families and these nations suffer. But whether man's justice takes days or weeks or months or years, God's justice is eternal. When you meet God; then you will understand. Then and only then, will you pay the price for what you have done. Gilad, Naftali and Eyal are with God now, in a better place, loved and cherished...your future, God knows.

I hope, I pray, I beg our soldiers to kill you in the firefight that will come. And so the next message is to Israel's soldiers. Please, please find a way. I don't care what the world says now - let them die. We have no death penalty in Israel; the only one we have ever put to death in 66 years is Adolf Eichmann for crimes against the Jewish people.

So please, find a way, this time, let them die. Don't bring them to "justice", to Israel's courts. They'll be convicted and sentenced to life in prison - where their wives will come visit and they'll breed more children in hate. They'll study in prison and get a university degree and they'll watch the World Cup. And then some stupid Israeli leader will release them for another kidnapped victim...or worse, the bodies of the kidnapped victims. 

In those seconds when the battle rages, may your aim be true. The world will condemn us no matter what we do - better they condemn us for the deaths of these murderers, than they condemn us for throwing them in jail and then when the murderers declare a hunger strike, demand that we release them. In those seconds, when you have them in range, end it. For Naftali. For Eyal. For Gilad. For their mothers. For Israel. End it.

And the final message is to the Israeli government. We are watching you. We need to believe in you now. You know the anger and the pain of Jewish blood being taken this way. Act now. Do something - stop this from ever happening again.


Anonymous said...

From far away in Houston, I share your pain and outrage, and pray that these pieces of vermin,along with their friends and relatives will be wiped off the face of the earth. Jan

NormanF said...

A civilized country should have the death penalty for kidnapping and murder.

If there is no deterrence, there is every incentive to commit such crimes again and again and again.

Life imprisonment in Israel is a joke. Terrorists can murder Jews and when they get caught, they know PA will lavishly pay them for the deed and they can count on Israel releasing them any way in a few years time as a goodwill gesture.

Prime Minister Netanyahu has no shame in demanding Abu Bluff break off his marriage with Hamas instead of punishing him for collaborating with those who murdered Israel's children in cold blood! He does not deserve to have Yoni as his brother.

That said, its high time Jews recognized the other side does not want peace and sees Jews as animals to be gleefully slaughtered. There is no dialogue possible with those who behave like Cain.

No words on earth can bring Naftali, Gilad and Eyal back to us. But we can shed our illusions and see things as they are and not how we would like them to be.

Anonymous said...

From Australia I offer my deepest condolence's to your people and those precious boys' families.
I am so sad and angry to hear of their fate, and to hear that America's response is to ask Israel to show 'restraint'.
How dare they ask such a thing.
May God indeed avenge the blood of these boys,
and may your government rise up and take the necessary action to prevent this happening again.

God bless your people in this time of grief.


Alter Neuland, M.D. said...

Thank you, Paula, for articulating much of what I have been feeling over the last several days. May we all be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Copyright Statement

Everything on this site is protected and copyrighted according to Israeli and international laws. Violators WILL be prosecuted.

For permission to use pictures or text from this site, please write to: