Thursday, July 10, 2014

I Have a Beef with the Palestinians

On the way into my office, I heard the news - in cold blood, the Palestinians had murdered 10 innocent cows. No, they were not soldiers. On average, according to my Google search 10 seconds ago, I learned that cows live, on average, 15 years. We only draft cows here in Israel over the age of 18 so, as you can see, we have very few cows in the Israeli none.

Cows are also not great at keeping secrets. While they are great in the field, they spend most of their time chatting away while munching on the green grass to be found...if there is any in a country that gets so little rain.

This morning, on Facebook, I posted the following:
I would like to congratulate our cousins in Gaza. After three days of shelling, they have indeed caused Israeli casualties - they killed 10 cows. May the souls of the cows forever haunt those who murdered them and please, God, may they continue to be our only casualties....and Gaza - you should become vegetarians for your sins!
To which, we had the most amazing they are comments and responses -  (not quoting names of the people, but trust me, these are among the most amazing people I know - especially the two rabbis!

  • Moooove on cuz this is *udder* nonsense
  • Going to milk this thread for all it's worth
  • If you guys don't stop, I'm going to put you out to pasture...oh that for horses...okay, then we'll have to pasteurize you.
  • We are cow-ering. Stay safe.
  • Saw the photo - having worked in a kibbutz refet (cowshed) - it's very sad. Better call in the para-medics, stat... [para is Hebrew for cow]
  • Does this be-hoove us? I think beef in a PETA is quite good
  • Okay...I don't think we should split hooves over this discussion. Clearly, the Arabs have a beef with us and are milking this for all it's worth...wait, someone got that one    
  • I guess that one got pastyoureyes  

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