Monday, August 25, 2014

Day 48 - How is this Possible?

I have to work. God, I have to work. I can't work. I can't think. I am bombarded by messages of hate and though on the outside I try not to show that they get to me, deep down they do. Not because I doubt, even for a second what Israel is doing, and why, but because hate is an overpowering emotion. It is ugly and ignorant; it is irrational and loud. So many Israelis are on edge - traffic accidents are up, people are tired of the rockets - even those of us living in relative quiet.

Sirens in Alumim and Nahal Oz (where little Daniel was killed on Saturday)

I keep thinking they have to run out of rockets; that

Sirens in Kerem Shalom

that they have to stop - but they don't. Yesterday morning I was in Tel Aviv - a few short hours later, a rocket hit empty fields.

Sirens in Kerem Shalom
Sirens in Kerem Shalom

Not even time to type a sentence - this is how it goes...all day long. How can I work? How can I write documents and proposals in the midst of this? Oh, it's simple enough really. I'm far enough away

Sirens in Kerem Shalom 

I'm far enough away that I can just shut the application, close the browser and not hear - but what right do I have to do that? I have so many friends who tell me that they can't listen to the news anymore. I understand the feeling but I can't. We all center the world around us - we see through our eyes, our experiences...but somehow I carry this idea that I have to see it all - through my eyes and theirs. I have friends in the south - how can I sit at a desk and type when they are running for their lives - literally.

Little Daniel was killed in his living room because for some reason, he didn't run to the shelter like he always did. His parents will live with that - though with two smaller children and seconds to get to shelter, had they hesitated, they could all have died - Daniel, the other two younger children, and them.

And yesterday, hour after hour - and today again, endless rockets. Yesterday, a German woman lectured me on humanity and I lost it. She dares to accuse Israel of murdering innocents? Sometimes, I'll admit, it is 

Sirens in Yad Mordechai and Netiv Ha'asarah
Status Update
By Miriam from the south...

Good morning everyone...Yesterday from 6:22 a.m until midnight Israeli citizens were bombarded with 135 missiles..on day 48 I have only one is this possible?

This is totally unacceptable!
Sirens in Yad Mordechai and Netiv Ha'asarah

Our morale is not broken; we are not too tired to fight. Our soldiers know what they do is holy and right - no, not a holy war, that isn't what we Jews fight. We do not believe war is holy; Jihad is not ours. But to defend life is holy; to live and fight to live - that is right.

But I'm sad today - sadder than I've been in a long time and tears come easily. Last night, Aliza saw a newspaper I had brought home. It had a picture of little Daniel Tragerman, who was only four and a half when he was killed.

"Did he die?" Aliza asked him though I didn't have to answer because born in Israel and 14, she reads Hebrew faster and more fluently than I ever will be able to read it. 

"He was in the living room," she told me, though I knew it already. 

"Why didn't his parents take him to the shelter?" she asked.

"Don't blame them," I practically begged her. "They did what they could. It was impossible." She lowered her head and started to cry and her tears broke me in a way that 7 weeks haven't. To watch your child cry over the death of a words, just such sorrow. No way to comfort her. I just held her and cried too - for Daniel, for Miriam, for Miriam's children, one of whom I know - and Devorah's children, for all of Israel's children. 

Daniel's parents have decided not to ever return to their home, to Nahal Oz so close to Gaza. They had a mere three seconds...they lost Daniel. How could they possibly have protected him?

That's what I thought of when I read Miriam's words, "How is it possible?'

How is it possible that I can receive so many messages of hate - Hitler should have killed you all; that we should all be gassed, that Hitler was right. That we, not the Syrians, not the Iraqis, not the Nigerians or North Koreans, not the Russians, not the Ukrainians, not ISIS, not Hamas, not Hizbollah - that we are the greatest threat...little the moral, physical, economic, and social balance of the world.

That we started the genocide of the Palestinian people in 1948 - when they attacked us with five armies...

That we dropped nuclear bombs on Gaza in this

That half the dead in Gaza are, only if you define children as men in their 30s with rifles and rocket launchers.

How is it possible - in 2014 - that people can be so stupid?

Sirens in Kerem Shalom

Sirens in Kfar Aza and Kibbutz Sa'ad

Sirens in Kfar Aza and Kibbutz Sa'ad

1 comment:

Miriam said...

Paula,I shared your blog on my Facebook timeline and Israelis Under Attack Everywhere page. Even though you don't live in the south, I can see your frustration and the empathy you feel for us Southern residents. We need bloggers like you to get the word out. Thank-you for all your excellent blogs. May the next blog you post report that Hamas has agreed to stop firing missiles at Israel.


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