I'm tired - I started to call this post just that - I'm tired. I keep thinking it and writing it and still the depth of my exhaustion can't be described. It is emotionally draining - this whole thing - war, ceasefire, war, rockets, the worry about who has been called, who will be called.
I sleep for a few hours and wake in the middle of the night wondering if my friends in the south are asleep or hearing sirens. I try to work but every so often - sometimes several times an hour, sometimes a few hours apart, my computer rings to indicate a missile attack.
So now we are about 20 hours into the second 72 hour ceasefire. Hamas promises it will be the last; swears in the next attack, they will attack Tel Aviv. Considering they attacked Tel Aviv last night minutes before the ceasefire began, why do they think that threat will break us?
Everywhere, the talk is still of the war. No one believes it is over - even the people who thought it was over last time, now understand we are not done.
On the bright side, my family managed to weather this one with no one inside and chances of one of my sons being called now is probably low. Still, the tension in the country, in my house, in my world, is so high.
Tomorrow, after about 6 weeks of waiting, we get our new car. Even before I left the hospital after the accident, my husband had called Mitsubishi, told them about the accident and asked them to reserve the same car, same color. We had literally been talking about how much I loved the car on the way up to our meetings, an hour or so before the accident.
I should be more excited about getting the car...I probably will be when I see it. For now, I'm more caught up in waiting, watching, wondering. It sounds like a silly soap opera - Will Tom catch Ann? Will Hamas fire before the ceasefire? Will Richard discover Kate's secret? Are there more tunnels that can be used.
And will the UN be satisfied if we give Gaza its own Iron Dome?