Friday, November 20, 2015

Three Days...and Wondering

Was it this bad the last time? Was my stomach hurting so much and was I so close to tears each time I looked at him?

David went to a party with his friends last night. It was as many of his high school friends that could gather at a restaurant in Jerusalem. The first five are going in - four into combat units: two into Givati (Davidi is one); two into the tank unit; one into a support rule (called Jobnik in Israel).

Everyone is acting so normal...another Shabbat is coming - shopping, cooking, cleaning. Elie and Lauren will join us for one meal; another we'll have on our own - David, Aliza, my husband and me. We'll sleep too much, move too little. We'll eat, then go to sleep early, go to the synagogue, each and go to sleep again. Just the same like always. The food is the same - I've got chicken and potatoes cooking in the oven; I've got soup started on the stove. I have challah rising on the table waiting to be shaped and noodles for a sweet casserole and a salt casserole. In short - it's all the same...and nothing is.

He's got all the clothes that I bought him...he opened a bank account into which the army will deposit a meager salary to "compensate" him for the days and nights he will defend this country for the next couple of years.

It's all so...regular, except deep inside of me. There, it takes a single word, a single sentence typed here to fill my eyes with tears. All the fears you cannot express, all the worry.

They must be insane, that stupid world out there, if they think we love violence and aggression. Yesterday, five people were murdered in this country in two separate attacks. Two Arabs stabbed and murdered two Jews in a synagogue in Tel Aviv; another Arab went on a shooting and ramming spree, killing another three people. Two were Jews; ironically, one was a Palestinian. People are trying to separate the intention to kill the Jews, which we all recognize, from the fact that an Arab was killed and so they use terms like "innocent" - as if the Jews weren't innocent also. Or they write that he was killed "accidentally" - because in truth, the others were murdered intentionally. I guess that one Arab is really Obama's "random" victim who was killed because he was in the "wrong" place at the "wrong" time.

The clock of our lives is so fickle. You can sit for hours wishing the time would fly by, that it would hurry up and be time for something...and then you can beg it to stop, to slow down, to leave you alone in this time. This week flew by; these last few weeks went so fast.

We have him tomorrow...then he's going out to visit with the kids for whom he was a youth counselor. He'll watch them get their "name" - it's a name that stays with them for the rest of their lives. Each year, the oldest group is given a name. Davidi's was "Na'aleh"; Aliza's was "Zion." Davidi already knows the name for this year. He thinks it is a silly name; I think it is wonderful.

On Sunday, I'm hoping I can get everyone together in the evening...and then early Monday morning, I'll take him to the "recruitment" center - or whatever it is called. I'll give him a kiss and tell him to call when he can. He's already refused to send me a picture of him in uniform, "you'll see me in four days." That's right - according to army tradition, he should come home on Friday.

Four days...God, next Friday seems like it will take forever to get here.

Please God, on this Friday before...please watch over him...David ben Penina - may he go in peace and return in peace....he...and all our sons and daughters who serve this land.

Shabbat shalom.

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