This...this is the very reason why I didn't leave Israel for the entire time that Elie and Shmuli were in the army...
I'm far away on a business trip and yet, in the middle of the conference, I can't stop myself from checking the news in Israel. A soldier has been wounded...that easily can a mother's heart stop. Lightly wounded...and so the heart beats a bit. In an area far from where mine is...and so the heart beats again, this time with a little guilt.
Yesterday, a soldier was lightly wounded. I can guess what happened then. Or at least, I can hope. Hopefully, they handed the soldier his phone and told him, "Call home."
"Allo, Ima?" he would say.
"Yes, sweets, how are you?"
"I'm fine. Really, but..."
And that quickly her heart would have tripped. A million thoughts in a fraction of a second. He's calling. It's his voice. He's alive. He sounds okay. Where are you? What happened? I'll be right there.
That fast, would she rush to her car (or find someone who has one). That quickly would she leave work or home; call someone to take care of the younger children or call her older children.
Frantic until she gets to the hospital and sees for herself. Nothing matters until she can hug him, touch him, see him.
All this and more goes through my mind as I sit here thousands of kilometers away enjoying a business trip in a distant land. So so different...
Fascinating sessions, wonderful and friendly people. One is outraged that I, as an Israeli, would ever feel uncomfortable traveling. Two people have come over and told me they read this blog...and I love that. I love being here.
I need to stop checking the news. I write to David and he sends me pictures of where he is. My children are posting pictures to me of my grandchildren, reminding me of my world (not that I could forget it for a moment). The connection to home burns so brightly, so strong.
So does the worry of being so far from home. I wonder how many more times my heart will stop before I return.
For now, it's enough to have a brief WhatsApp conversation with David. He's fine. He's okay. It's enough...it has to be...each day, every day...it's everything.
I'm far away on a business trip and yet, in the middle of the conference, I can't stop myself from checking the news in Israel. A soldier has been wounded...that easily can a mother's heart stop. Lightly wounded...and so the heart beats a bit. In an area far from where mine is...and so the heart beats again, this time with a little guilt.
Yesterday, a soldier was lightly wounded. I can guess what happened then. Or at least, I can hope. Hopefully, they handed the soldier his phone and told him, "Call home."
"Allo, Ima?" he would say.
"Yes, sweets, how are you?"
"I'm fine. Really, but..."
And that quickly her heart would have tripped. A million thoughts in a fraction of a second. He's calling. It's his voice. He's alive. He sounds okay. Where are you? What happened? I'll be right there.
That fast, would she rush to her car (or find someone who has one). That quickly would she leave work or home; call someone to take care of the younger children or call her older children.
Frantic until she gets to the hospital and sees for herself. Nothing matters until she can hug him, touch him, see him.
All this and more goes through my mind as I sit here thousands of kilometers away enjoying a business trip in a distant land. So so different...
Fascinating sessions, wonderful and friendly people. One is outraged that I, as an Israeli, would ever feel uncomfortable traveling. Two people have come over and told me they read this blog...and I love that. I love being here.
I need to stop checking the news. I write to David and he sends me pictures of where he is. My children are posting pictures to me of my grandchildren, reminding me of my world (not that I could forget it for a moment). The connection to home burns so brightly, so strong.
So does the worry of being so far from home. I wonder how many more times my heart will stop before I return.
For now, it's enough to have a brief WhatsApp conversation with David. He's fine. He's okay. It's enough...it has to be...each day, every day...it's everything.
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