A few weeks ago, a woman stopped me on the street and asked if I spoke English. She was almost in tears. She explained that she had come to Jerusalem for medical treatment and her wallet was stolen and she was exhausted and the police weren't helping. She needed 300 NIS to take a cab back to her home in Haifa. She has this lump on the right side just above her neck. She's rather tall, has dark hair with a bit of gray in it, an accent...I'm not sure from where. Could be French. Could be Israeli. It definitely is not English, American, South African, Australian.
Could I please help her? I did. I gave her 80 NIS. She saw that I had a few more bills in my wallet and asked if I could give her a little more, I told her that I couldn't. I walked away wondering if I'd just been kind...or stupid. I wondered if I'd been taken.
Was I was stupid to give her so much money, to give her money at all? It comes to about $25. I've lived in Israel so long that somehow 80 NIS seems so much more than $25.
I wondered and now I no longer need to wonder. She approached me again about two hours ago as I walked from the center of Jerusalem to a bus station near the front of the city. This time, she was closer to the Central Bus Station in Jerusalem, close to the Mahane Yehuda shuk (open market). I didn't recognize her at first.
"Are you from Jerusalem?" she asked me in English. I thought she needed directions but as she started to her story, I realized several things. She doesn't remember me. I remember her. The lump is there on her right side...and yes, I'd been taken.
"I'm from Haifa. My wallet..."
Yes, I remember you, I told her. No, she responded. Yes, I remember you, I said again. "I gave you 80 NIS the last time your wallet was stolen a few weeks ago." "No," she said again, and started to back up.
"Yes", I told her and said one more thing that I have always believed in...it is what you say to yourself when someone cheats you. It's what you have to believe so that despite being cheated, you don't stop trying to help others.
I looked her square in the eyes, this woman who had cheated and lied a few weeks ago. A chance to face a cheat and speak your mind is a rare opportunity.
"What you steal in this life," I told her, "you pay for in the next."
Yes, that's it. The sum total of my wisdom. She can laugh her way all the way to her next life. What can I do?
A few things - if you see a tall woman with dark hair and she has a lump on the side of her throat and she says she's from Haifa (or wherever) and her wallet was stolen (or whatever), tell her that you read about her online and no, you won't give her money - and tell her - "what you steal in this life, you'll pay for in the next."
And what else can you do? Look into your heart and ignore those who will tell you - as many will tell me now - that you are stupid and gullible and you threw away a lot of money. You were cheated and connived and fooled. Ignore them all and look into your heart.
This time, you were cheated. I was cheated. And maybe next time you will be too. Maybe, next time someone else will get the better of me.
But there will be a time when you give to someone who genuinely needs, you will save someone's life, their dignity, their pride, their honor, their home. You'll warm their heart and give them hope.
And that one true time of giving makes up for any and all of the times you were wrong in trusting. The shame is on that woman and others who cheat. Not on you. Not on me.
How dumb can you be? Not dumb at all if you trust someone. Very dumb if you let them change the goodness in your heart.
I'm still upset. I'm still angry. Why didn't I take her picture so that I could post it? Why didn't I call the police? Why didn't I demand that she give me 80 NIS? Why does it bother me what other people will think?
But most of all, I guess I'm sad because I wanted to help someone. I tried and I'm working really hard to accept that the failure is hers, not mine.
So, yeah, she got me. She took 80 NIS...I gave her 80 NIS. But ultimately, what she really did was steal from the rewards of the next life for this one. Do I believe that? I really do. I believe that there is nothing and no one who is better at accounting than God and somewhere in some ledger somewhere, there is a line in some column that has my name on it, a column with her name on it, and beside those columns, the sum of 80 NIS.
And without knowing the details of how God labels those columns, I am calmed and comforted to have my name in the column where it is and pity her for the column in which her name appears.
What you steal in this life, you pay for in the next...
Could I please help her? I did. I gave her 80 NIS. She saw that I had a few more bills in my wallet and asked if I could give her a little more, I told her that I couldn't. I walked away wondering if I'd just been kind...or stupid. I wondered if I'd been taken.
Was I was stupid to give her so much money, to give her money at all? It comes to about $25. I've lived in Israel so long that somehow 80 NIS seems so much more than $25.
I wondered and now I no longer need to wonder. She approached me again about two hours ago as I walked from the center of Jerusalem to a bus station near the front of the city. This time, she was closer to the Central Bus Station in Jerusalem, close to the Mahane Yehuda shuk (open market). I didn't recognize her at first.
"Are you from Jerusalem?" she asked me in English. I thought she needed directions but as she started to her story, I realized several things. She doesn't remember me. I remember her. The lump is there on her right side...and yes, I'd been taken.
"I'm from Haifa. My wallet..."
Yes, I remember you, I told her. No, she responded. Yes, I remember you, I said again. "I gave you 80 NIS the last time your wallet was stolen a few weeks ago." "No," she said again, and started to back up.
"Yes", I told her and said one more thing that I have always believed in...it is what you say to yourself when someone cheats you. It's what you have to believe so that despite being cheated, you don't stop trying to help others.
I looked her square in the eyes, this woman who had cheated and lied a few weeks ago. A chance to face a cheat and speak your mind is a rare opportunity.
"What you steal in this life," I told her, "you pay for in the next."
Yes, that's it. The sum total of my wisdom. She can laugh her way all the way to her next life. What can I do?
A few things - if you see a tall woman with dark hair and she has a lump on the side of her throat and she says she's from Haifa (or wherever) and her wallet was stolen (or whatever), tell her that you read about her online and no, you won't give her money - and tell her - "what you steal in this life, you'll pay for in the next."
And what else can you do? Look into your heart and ignore those who will tell you - as many will tell me now - that you are stupid and gullible and you threw away a lot of money. You were cheated and connived and fooled. Ignore them all and look into your heart.
This time, you were cheated. I was cheated. And maybe next time you will be too. Maybe, next time someone else will get the better of me.
But there will be a time when you give to someone who genuinely needs, you will save someone's life, their dignity, their pride, their honor, their home. You'll warm their heart and give them hope.
And that one true time of giving makes up for any and all of the times you were wrong in trusting. The shame is on that woman and others who cheat. Not on you. Not on me.
How dumb can you be? Not dumb at all if you trust someone. Very dumb if you let them change the goodness in your heart.
I'm still upset. I'm still angry. Why didn't I take her picture so that I could post it? Why didn't I call the police? Why didn't I demand that she give me 80 NIS? Why does it bother me what other people will think?
But most of all, I guess I'm sad because I wanted to help someone. I tried and I'm working really hard to accept that the failure is hers, not mine.
So, yeah, she got me. She took 80 NIS...I gave her 80 NIS. But ultimately, what she really did was steal from the rewards of the next life for this one. Do I believe that? I really do. I believe that there is nothing and no one who is better at accounting than God and somewhere in some ledger somewhere, there is a line in some column that has my name on it, a column with her name on it, and beside those columns, the sum of 80 NIS.
And without knowing the details of how God labels those columns, I am calmed and comforted to have my name in the column where it is and pity her for the column in which her name appears.
What you steal in this life, you pay for in the next...
Same scam occurs in downtown Chicago.
ReplyDeleteThe story sounds very familiar-- medical treatment, Haifa, stolen wallet, 300 shekels for transportation. Except she hit me up two years ago. The first time i gave her 20 shekels, the second time i said "no ingliss" and walked away.
ReplyDeleteI ran into a guy doing the same thing about 20 years ago, but I only gave him 20 shekel the first time - second time I just walked away....
ReplyDeleteThe only difference is that he was asking for a loan and said he would send the money back. Instead of giving him my address, I told him that I had a 20 shekel donation to the shul in his town, and he should pay me back by putting the money in the Kupa Tzdaka. I also told him that if he was lying to me and had no intention of repaying the money he should be aware that he wasn't stealing from me, but from his local shul.