Kfir, Baby - I want to tell you something

Kfir baby, I want to tell you something before...before you come back. Because one of two things will happen when you come back and I'll never be able to say it again.

I have loved you for more than 15 months. From the minute I saw you cradled in her arms. I saw the terror on her face. She understood. But how could you, you were only 9 months old? Now, tomorrow, you will turn 2. Two years old. You should be a happy chubby little boy with smiles and giggles that make parents want to video your every breathe. Two year olds are into the age of defiance. Suddenly aware they have the power to move mountains, or at least make their parents do what they want.

But little Kfir, beautiful Kfir with a smile that has enthralled our nation, you probably aren't chubby, because we know that Hamas has been starving our hostages. Your little body will have so many issues, even beyond food depravation. And yet, we long for you to come home.

If you come home, please God, your family will surround you and you may not be let out of their line of sight until you are 18...it's what I would do if you were mine and came home from the hell where you have been. That is our best case scenario and we feel it slipping through our fingers. Come home and we'll promise only to see you from afar. We'll act normal when we see you and smile just a little more each time and slowly, as the horror fades from your eyes, we too will be saved.

I want you to know, we never gave up hoping you'd be driven back into Israel in your mother's arms. With your father holding Ariel. He's six now...or maybe unlike you, his birthday is in a few more months and he's only 5. He'll never forget what was done to him and still, we'll find a way for both of you to return to the light, the sunshine. We just need you both to have found a way to survive beyond the 469 you have already been in Gaza. 

A few more days, beautiful Kfir baby, and you'll be home. My heart hurts, my head fears. I can barely breathe for thinking of all you have endured. Please, baby Kfir, please be alive. Please come home.

We'll fix everything. You will never know a minute in your life without love. We just need you to come home. You, and Ariel, and Shiri, and Yarden, and Omer, and Doron, and all 98 hostages still being held.

Your picture is there but we don't know the most basic thing...will you come home to the sunshine of our land, to light and food and safety. Or will you come home to finally rest, forever in God's arms. He will hold you and tell you how we tried, how we cried for you.

But I don't want to cry now, beautiful little boy, I want to hope...and I want you to know we did all we could. We sent in our sons and daughters and they looked for you. They went into hell, into the tunnels. But no matter how hard they tried, the devils ruled their land and kept you hidden. 

But soon, my little love, soon you'll be free. Free to learn all you should have learned in the last two years, to eat the most amazing food, made with love. Soon, little boy, you'll be home and when you come home, we will all fly with joy beyond imagination, or a little part of us will die inside our hearts. The flame we have kept going for all this time, will go out and we will live in darkness because you are the light of Israel.

But I want you to know that we won't let them destroy us as they tried to destroy you and your family. You will live in our hearts and so your light will not be extinguished. And we will build this land and raise our children and grandchildren to remember a little little boy who was stolen from us by the evilest of creatures.

Long ago, my young daughter was told about demons and she was afraid. I took her to someone to provide her comfort. She asked him if there were demons in this world. I smiled, ready to have him tell her what I had already told her, that demons aren't real.

"Yes," the man said. "there are demons in this world."

And before I could say anything about how that didn't help, he continued, "but not in Eretz Yisrael." Not in the land of Israel.

Demons came into our land on October 7 and took you away...but you'll come back soon, sweet sweet little boy. And you will live. In the sunshine, or in our hearts.