What Can NOT Be Shared...in a Nation at War

I started this blog almost 20 years ago, in the early days of blogging...rules were so different then. 

My children are now all grown; three have married. In those first posts, I never imagined writing about anything other than the scope of my family. But soon I learned that in sharing what was happening to Elie, then Shmuli and finally Davidi, I was sharing a part of Israel. Once in a while and then a bit more often, I wrote more about Israel than family. It was a blend - to share my life and my country at the same time.

When I wrote about horrible lies of murder being committed by Israeli soldiers, I was told by one reader that she knew right away that the reports were lies because "Elie wouldn't do that". It was another war that began with massive rocket fire from Gaza and ended when world pressure said to Israel, "stop."

On the day that Davidi finished his service, I wrote a blog post Standing Down, 

It is a special privilege and honor, a special kind of heaven and a special kind of hell to have a son serve his country. There are things they see and learn that any normal parent would give years off their lives to avoid.
In the end, my sons know that when their country called them, they answered. When they were needed, they stepped forward.

I was so proud of my sons...and I still am. For ALL that they are, and ALL that they do. The world is still hearing absurd claims of "genocide" - for God's sake, the civilian populations in Gaza and elsewhere have doubled and tripled. There is no genocide. And "starvation" - when Israel has sent thousands of trucks of humanitarian aid in and it is Hamas blocking and stealing the food, shooting their own people and harvesting well the lie of starvation.

The day after David finished his service, I wrote, "Yesterday, David stood down. Today, I stand down." At first, I was surprised at the words my fingers had typed. It was my heart speaking, not my brain.

"Why step down when we have a following of over 1,000 people per day and more to say," my brain asked my heart.

"I've had enough," answered my heart, "and what more would I write?"

"We'll think of something," said my brain in frustration. "We are always writing something. Why not keep it going? We've told so many the truth of Israel, shown them the many facets of life here. Don't stop."

"I want to stop," said my heart. "I've spent 11 years worrying about something happening to one of them, wondering if I could write it or just disappear. Now I want to stop."

They argued, my brain and my heart, for long minutes and then there was a compromise.  My brain would write, but not here. My heart would continue to worry, but I could turn off my phone at night. I could sleep. Until October 7. 

What I did not write the day after David's last day was that if the army called again, my sons would answer the call. Maybe I didn't write it because the thought of them being called back in beyond the standard reserve duty (miluim) was unthinkable. Never did I consider that all would be called in together.

And they were.

October 7 was indeed a day that will live in infamy. And every day since. 699 days...tomorrow, if they don't come home today, will be 700 days. 

Our lives have changed in more ways than I can describe in one post. Regular missile attacks continue, sending millions of Israelis to the bomb shelters. We no longer run in most places, so confident are we that the missile or two from Yemen will be shot down. Yesterday, again, the Houthis sent a cluster bomb...nothing much reported in the world.

And our lives have changed in another fundamental way. In a world where people share photos of every facet of their lives, we do not post pictures of our sons in uniform...lest the lunatics we fight hunt our children. Yes, hunt. They take the pictures, or a post of proud parent, and research...what is his name? What unit is he in? Where does he live? And they post this private information under words such as murderer, war criminal, and more.

And they alert antisemitic nations (or nations terrified of the Islamic wave covering their shores and mistakenly believe capitulation is the best response). And these nations harass our children, threaten to arrest them.

The world is not a good place for Israelis...or Jews...right now. Thousands are moving to Israel, understanding the fundamental change that has come about in the world. Antisemitism is now allowed in many countries in Europe - so long as you wrap it in the Israeli flag. 

And so, I cannot share pictures of my children's children happily posing for first grade...three delicious granddaughters...no pictures...and my beautiful grandsons...no pictures. And none of their fathers or their uncles answered the call of my country. Only my sons as young boys...unrecognizable from the men they are today.

My heart and my brain are united in endless worry and fear. My stomach often joins in, clenched and uninterested in food. My arms ache, my legs are tired. But it is our soldiers who remind us what we fight for - not just our land, but our lives. And so we fight. Fight and avoid as much as possible traveling anywhere...

Someday, the world will know the truth. Now...not so much. We know that the UN has manipulated the definition of starvation to enable Gaza to fit the description. We know at least twice, the UN has lowered the casualty figures in Gaza - figures regularly transmitted by Hamas' "Health Ministry". And now we know the majority were not women and children but males who suspiciously fall in the age of combatants, are often armed, and most often not in uniform despite their military associations.

Someday, as they did in Jenin, where the casualty figures dropped from 5,000 to 51. Someday.

What cannot be denied, and what we have no interest in denying, is that Gaza lies in ruin. As do the villages of Israel's south that were hit by some 5,000 rockets fired on October 7, and then systematically burned by the invaders.

We will rebuild those quiet, peaceful villages with trees and gardens. Gaza will not be rebuilt any time soon or in any way that resembles the last incarnation of a dying terrorist society.